About a month ago, I was driving my almost 12-year old daughter and a couple of her friends home. They were doing their usual chit-chatty stuff, talking about school and boys and teachers… taking selfies together, which always involves RE-taking selfies together (because someone always looks, gasp, ‘HORRIBLE!’). Well, I was just toodling along, trying to mind my own business– but of course that’s hard to do when you’re driving a carful of girls around and they’re talking as if you’re not around. Because don’t most mothers want to know what their kids talk about when they’re with their friends? It’s like spying, but not… because they’re in your car, not whispering, just putting it all out there, and so therefore it’s free game. Right? But then I noticed it.
It was like a broken record, coming from three different mouthpieces.
Honestly, I had never heard Louisa use the expression (if you can call it that) before, and then all of a sudden it was like it was the only word these girls knew how to use. And therefore, because I have such a love affair with words, it got me thinking…
So is this like the old 1970’s way of saying, “Me, too.” Or the 1980’s, “Totally…” ?
Because if ‘Same’ is the replacement, I hate it.
After that night, I noticed it over and over and over again. It was like I was on high-alert for any time the word “same” was used. And then a couple of days ago, a childhood friend (with whom I have been dear friends since Kindergarten) posted this:
Oh, nooooooo! It’s not just the girls! The boys are doing it, TOO! I ‘liked’ that sucker instantly and let my friend know that I had been wanting to write a post about “Same” for weeks now. Another childhood friend replied, “Please do it soon.” I suddenly felt not so alone in my bewilderment with this new phenomenon. It reminded me of the response that you might often receive via text message, after you have written out a longish, well-thought out explanatory message to someone. The response from the other person? “K.” Or , the ever-popular among my daughter, “kk.” Another friend and I have a joke about it– she sent this to me recently:
Oh, geez. You might even be that person. Sorry, no offense, I just shudder a little when I see “K” being used as a word. So what IS IT with “Same” and “K”? Have we lost our ability to thoughtfully respond to one another? Are we so inundated with electronic messages, social media (albeit, one of my guilty pleasures in lieu of TV), and instant gratification and approval, that we are losing the art of speaking? Of communicating using something other than grunts or single-syllable words, or even non-words like text or chat acronyms?
I get it, I really do. It’s just the way of ‘The Times’ now. It’s just how it is. And that’s ok, I guess. Or is it?
Personally, I don’t want to be “Same.” I don’t want my children to be “Same.” I don’t want them to think that being “Same” makes them more accepted by their peers, makes them more popular, gives them more approval. I want them to be outside-the-box. I desire for them to be creative thinkers, not “me, too” followers. I realize that on the surface, this “Same” reply is totally harmless and just a way of agreeing with someone. But in some cases, it doesn’t even make sense. I found these little gems when I visited Urban Dictionary (Lord, help me) for some insight…
See?! Uggggggggghhhhhhh! Same! And what makes it so much worse, is that “Same” is often spoken when a person’s head is staring at their phone or electronic device — symbolizing that you don’t care or aren’t paying attention. Look up! Look me in my EYEBALLS! Elaborate! Use some words! Aren’t you learning VOCABULARY in school?! Use it!
Those who know me know that I am a tad bit wordy, proven by my longish blog posts. And it takes me forever and a day to finish a story, and sometimes I will be in the middle of it and not know where I was even going with it in the first place (just ask Mark). And I cannot deny that I love my iPhone dearly, and that yes, I am often holding it– and if not, it is usually within earshot. Annnnnnd, I am always taking photos of life around me, sometimes to a fault because I might actually be missing the real life instead. I fully admit that I am not innocent of the trespasses I have mentioned here. But if you ever hear me utter the word, “Same” — well, you have my permission to please hit me over the head.
* * *
Okaaaaay, I feel badly ending this without finding some sort of beauty to share. One other thing that came to mind over the whole “Same” thing is this: If we were all the same, how TOTALLY BORING would that be? If we all agreed…all the time… HOW DULL! And then it reminded me of this, one of my faves:
Do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve
what God’s will is–
his good, pleasing and perfect will. ~Romans 12:2
“For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell?
But as it is, God arranged the members in the body,
each one of them, as he chose.
If all were a single member, where would the body be?
As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.”
~ 1 Corinthians 12: 14-20
So let’s get out there and not be “Same.” Don’t conform…
Be transformed! Be a foot! Be an ear! Be an eyeball! And if you want to agree with something your friend says… for goodness’ sake, just say, “Me, too!” Or better yet, respectfully disagree and start a critically-thought out conversation about it. 😉
And, oh, my precious children… don’t be afraid of being different, be afraid of being the “Same” as everyone else.